Dec 23 3 Comments

Nine years is not very long

Tonight was the last night my baby went to sleep as an eight-year old. I got a little teary-eyed and quickly raced through all her birthdays in my head. It could not have been nine already, could it? I even panicked a bit. I am never getting the years back. I am never getting the days back. I am never getting the hours, the minutes, the seconds. I am never getting them back. Have I used them wisely, I wondered.

Kristin turning 4.

The answer to my question is probably yes and no. I have wasted a lot of time by nagging, by being pre-occupied, by focusing on small stuff and missing the big events, such as a hug or a confession. I have been tired too many times, under pressure too many times, irritated too many times, selfish too many times, impatient too many times.

Kristin with her best friend, Holly at 5. This was the year we had a zoo party.

But I can also say that I have been there. I have savored her life. I have laughed with her, painted with her, baked with her, read with her. We have years worth of cuddle time. I have been there for my little girl who is growing up. I think that she will remember all those times better than the times when I lost my temper. At least I hope so.

Kristin and me, Rocky mountain national park.

Happy birthday, big, little Kristin.

3 Comments

  • Val says:

    How touching to see that adorable picture of Kristin and Holly. I can’t believe that was four years ago. Please give her a big hug and happy birthday from the three of us. Tell her we miss her and can’t wait to see all of you again! Love your Christmas letter too. Happy Holidays!

  • lynnie says:

    This really resonates with me. Mikey was born 28 years ago on the 20th of December and Jason was born on the 27th of December….Christmas babies. I remember that was a BIG deal for me. I had always wanted more children and with new technology was abe to have another baby after twelve years since my second born…….then I had another! Four beautiful, perfect babies, sons all. I have always grieved for how quick life runs by. I would love to stop and kiss all those darling little heads again. As a matter of fact, as they grew, (and each was so very different) I so longed to keep holding on to them as I once did. Now I re-live those days over and over again. Sometimes with regret, mostly with joy. .OH I am rich with my sons and the beautiful memories of thier younger days……

    I have the wonderful memory of being with Kristin when she was just a small little adorabe baby and I felt like I was doing it all over. Holding and loving every single little mew that she made and wondering at the blessing of her life. You are so fortunate, as was I, to have babies that we could love. No higher calling is that of a Mother. I remember what it felt like when they were small and needed just me. I love to celebrate thier birthdays. Those are the days of joy for me. Now they are all grown and I have many pictures and unending memories that fill my days of thier growing up… You will see them grow and then go. THAT is the hard part. I will always miss them when they are not near me. Sometimes I think it is pathetic that the only job I ever wanted to be good at was being a Mother. People here mostly go to work and do not stay home with them as a profession. All I can remember is never wanting another profession. I just wanted to be a Mom. I always tried so hard to shelter them and I always wanted things for them and then we found Jesus, and all I wanted was for them to serve Him. Now dear one, you are there so far away and feeling that desire to hold on to all the wonderful days….They will always be yours to remember. You are a good Mother, Oddny. I am so proud of you and my granddaughters. I love you all so much. I wished I could see you this Christmas. Many blessings to you all….. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my youngest granddaughter Kristin….

  • Dorothy says:

    I also cannot imagine that my Lego buddy, super hug giver, and adoptive grandchild is growing up. I remember spaghetti in the highchair, eating tomatoes in the garden, picking apples in the orchard, the zoo party, the butterfly party, Legos on the floor, super running and jumping hugs, sleepovers at my house, craft times, and so much more. It was such a treat to be here this year and attend one more party.

    I love you Kristin…..happy birthday

    Dorphy

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