Feb 6 1 Comment

Like going to the dentist twice in one day

I listened to a speech by this lady named Brene Brown last night. You can hear what I heard here If I were you, and I had the time, I would listen to it. It may be worth it.

I made some notes as I listened, and in my imperfect handwriting, I noted things like: Excruciating vulnerability. Those two words together feel like a double appointment at the dentist to me. They are both painful words and I would rather not think about what it will mean for me to be excruciatingly vulnerable. Let’s just day that that means a lot of dirty laundry.

Naomi riding her bike for the first time with no training wheels.Excruciatingly vulnerable.

But if, according to Brene, the double dentist’s appointment results in a sense of worthiness, a strong sense of belonging and a whole heart, then perhaps it is worth the pain and the strong smell of burned amalgam.

I dare to suggest that what she (this Brene-lady) suggests is that if we are not vulnerable, then we will find different ways to try to make our hearts whole. And that is what most of the world is doing these days. We eat, medicate and buy our way to a whole heart. And you, like me, see that that is not a good solution at all. Because (and I am still quoting Brene), when we use all these other things to numb our vulnerability, we numb all the good feelings too, like joy and gratitude. And (quoting me here) we don’t get to the root of the trouble by patching it with pills or whatever. Some times a root cannel is the only way to go.

Correct me if I am wrong, but in plain English, what we are trying to say here is that instead of eating a bag of potato-chips when I feel bad about myself, I should just give somebody a call and tell them that I feel bad about myself. Or I could go to the best comforter in the world, which happens to be Jesus, and tell him that I feel like a shit and ask what he thinks about me. Or I could do both.

Looking back at all the words I have written to come to this conclusion, I think I could have made my point much earlier. But I am not a woman of few words. That is one of my many weaknesses. You better get used to it, because I am working on my excruciating vulnerabilities.

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