There are two things that I have thought about today. Of course, there are more things too, like: What shall I eat for lunch. But the two predominant thoughts are these:
1. Some people are real heroes and most of the world doesn’t know about them. And, to confirm that they are real heroes, it appears they don’t care that the world doesn’t care. If only there were more of that kind of people.
Yesterday I met three of them, Kjell, Øydis and Ingunn. On their own initiative they are putting together a mega yard sale to raise money for Partners. Spending their own time and resources they are doing this. And told me: “Don’t worry about a thing, Oddny. Just show up. We want to do this.” Boy, am I impressed. There are a lot of these people around and I want to become more like them—generous with my time and resources, self-sacrificing, humble and committed.
2. My second thought is this: I can’t stay awake when I pray. And this is a bummer. What I mean is that I don’t actually fall asleep, but I spend all my energy thinking about not falling asleep and that makes praying very unsatisfying for God, and me. My friends who pray a lot will, no doubt, say this: You fall asleep because you don’t know The One you pray to. If you were really excited about being in God’s presence you would be as excited as you are when you watch Johnny Depp. And I agree. The thing is that I am excited about God and I want to be as alert when I pray, as I am when I see Johnny D. But I can’t really get to know him when I think about not sleeping.
I am glad I don’t need to be driven by guilt and shame, because surely, there is a lot to feel bad about. I am not as generous with my time and resources, self-sacrificing, humble and committed as many of my friends and people I know. I don’t pray very well. And Johnny Depp would not even notice me. But the good news is:
God loves me in spite of my shortcomings, and I think he is delighted that I at least try. Steve loves me and, honestly, I think I am much better off with him anyhow. I have people to look up to in my life that don’t reject me even when I am selfish and lazy, but who sets a good example for me to follow.
I have heard of prayer walks. That may work.