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Archive for June, 2011

Are we just the so-called believers?

Warning: There will be some pretty meaty stuff in this blog. Read only if you have the nerve for it.

Last week I received an email from a good friend. He forwarded it from a good friend of his. What was in the email has stuck with me this week. Hateful words that makes it impossible for me to keep on living for myself, and still call myself a Christian.

The author of the email talked about meeting a Christian man who frustrated said this: “Nobody lives the Sermon on the Mount. Show me someone living the Sermon on the Mount.”

I think the same frequently. My finger easily points to others who call themselves Christians, but who seem to think that the Sermon on the Mount was just a collection of nice thoughts and ideas of Utopia, not instructions on how to live a life according to Jesus.

I don’t know many who live the Sermon on the Mount. I would like to, but my self-centered nature comes in the way too often.

The author of the email then said that the man he had met was not the only one who had searched for true faith. Leo Tolstoy did the same in 19th century Russia. In his Confessions, we can read him say this:

Naturally I first of all turned to the orthodox of my circle, to people who were learned: to Church theologians, monks, to theologians of the newest shade, and even to Evangelicals who profess salvation by belief in the Redemption. And I seized on these believers and questioned them as to their beliefs and their understanding of the meaning of life.

But though I made all possible concessions, and avoided all disputes, I could not accept the faith of these people. I saw that what they gave out as their faith did not explain the meaning of life but obscured it…I was repelled by the fact that these people’s lives were like my own, with only this difference–that such a life did not correspond to the principles they expounded in their teachings. I clearly felt that they deceived themselves and that they, like myself found no other meaning in life than to live while life lasts, taking all one’s hands can seize. I saw this because if they had had a meaning which destroyed the fear of loss, suffering, and death, they would not have feared these things. But they, these believers of our circle…feared privations, suffering, and death, and just like myself and all of us unbelievers, lived to satisfy their desires, and lived just as badly, if not worse, than the unbelievers.

No arguments could convince me of the truth of their faith. Only deeds which showed that they saw a meaning in life making what was so dreadful to me–poverty, sickness, and death–not dreadful to them, could convince me. And such deeds I did not see among the various believers in our circle. On the contrary, I saw such deeds done by people of our circle who were the most unbelieving, but never by our so-called believers.

Ouch!

I want to live differently. I try to. I try to do good. But I also have to admit that I frequently meet others, non-Christians, who do just as good of a job as me, if not better, in the pursuit of righteousness and peace. The author of the email I read struggles with the same: Do we really have the power to live differently from those around us? As Tolstoy put it, without fear of loss, suffering and death? In other words, can we live out the Sermon on the Mount? Give up our possessions. Bless those who hurt us. Lay up our treasure in heaven, he says.

He then quoted Bonhoffer who said this:

We have listened to the Sermon on the Mount and perhaps have understood it. But who has heard it aright? Jesus gives the answer at the end. He does not allow his hearers to go away and make of his sayings what they will, picking and choosing from them whatever they find helpful, and testing them to see if they work….Humanly speaking, we could understand and interpret the Sermon on the Mount in a thousand different ways. Jesus knows only one possibility: simple surrender and obedience, not interpreting it or applying it, but doing and obeying it….Jesus has spoken: his is the word, ours the obedience.
(The Cost of Discipleship).

Tonight as I am sitting looking at the evening sky that never grows dark. As I am safe in my home, dressed and full, I am again reminded that everything I have is a gift given to me, and I am supposed to share. I have been given some instructions. They are not easy, but they are clear.

Are you full of dents and scratches? Are your colors kind of faded?

It kind of jumped out on me.

It kind of jumped out on me among all the nicknack on the shelves. As soon as I saw it, I was in love. Not in love the way I am with my husband. This was a different kind of love. I was in love with an object and I said to it: You are the one I have been looking for and I want you no matter what you cost.

It was an old cookie tin. It was dented. The hinges on the lid were broken. The lid was difficult to get off. There were scratches on it. There was a price tag on it from a hundred years ago, and there was a price tag that had recently been put on it. The price was a lot higher now than all those years ago, and that was in spite of all the damage.

The colors on the outside were bright and vibrant. White and red roses on a white background. Who would have thought I would fall for a tin decorated with roses? Usually I think it is t-a-c-k-y. Not on my tin. It looked perfect. Exactly as I had envisioned it.

I make my own crackers and for a long time I have been wanting to get a tin to put them in that can be displayed on the kitchen counter like some kind of a center piece. Tupperware is just so boring and ugly. It doesn’t in any way give justice to homemade crackers with sesame, sunflower and flax seeds. So I looked in the boutiques for the perfect tin. There were plenty and they shone. They looked delectable in all their splendor. My crackers would have had a good life in some of those tins. But they were so expensive. And they had recently been made in cookie-cutter factories. These tins had not lived. They knew nothing about real life issues. Not to mention that there were hundreds exactly like them around on other women’s kitchen counters. I wanted my tin to be different.

So when I ran into Miss Perfect Cracker Tin at the secondhand store, I knew I had to buy her. I just knew it. So I did.

It’s sitting on my counter now, practically stealing all the attention from all the other gadgets such as the toaster and the water boiler. It’s still empty, but it is already serving it’s purpose. It’s the first thing I see when I walk into the kitchen in the morning and it makes me happy. “Hi, Miss Perfect Cracker Tin,” I say, “you are the best tin I have ever seen and soon I will put crackers inside you. That is what you were made for. You may have thought you were made for all those boring Christmas cookies or Krumkaker all those years ago, but that was just the preparation for your true calling. You may not have liked it when they treated you so badly and you got all those dents, but that just made you more unique in my eyes. I like you better this way. You may have thought that your life was over when you got dumped at a used-stuff-store, but that was just when your life began. You will have many happy years here on my kitchen counter, holding crackers and brightening up the room.”

As I think of my old tin, I think of Jesus and me. I am the old tin, so dented, so scratched, so outdated, so empty on the inside sometimes. During the years I have wondered why Jesus keep putting all these cookies that are made of slushy mud inside me? Why stale cookies and ones that taste like sh_t? Now look at me? There are so many prettier, more useful, more practical, less dented, less scratched, with better patterns, better hinges and better everything.

You are the best cookie tin ever. Soon I will fill you with my crackers.

And Jesus says: “You are the best tin I have ever seen and soon I will put crackers inside you. That is what you were made for. You may have thought you were made for all those boring Christmas cookies or Krumkaker all those years ago, but that was just the preparation for your true calling. You may not have liked it when they treated you so badly and you got all those dents, but that just made you more unique in my eyes. I like you better this way. You may have thought that your life was over when you got dumped at a used-stuff-store, but that is just when your life began. You will have many happy years here on my kitchen counter, holding crackers and brightening up the room.”

Time without any purpose

At Partners we play a lot. Here are some creations from our last staff retreat. Play=fun=happy people.

Kristin had two friends over today. They played all day. Some of their playing left messes in my house. They had made something that resembled cookies in my kitchen, and there are chocolate stains on the frying pan and on the fish sauce bottle. When the day ended for Kristin the dirty clothes were off, the face was washed, her teeth brushed, leaving no traces of ice cream and cookies. “It was such a fun day,” she smiled content and happy. “I really enjoyed today.”

Some days I wish I could be more like a child myself and spend the days without a worry, without any concerns at all, except: What shall we do next?

I read an article the other day that talked about play. You can read it here too. I like the definition: Play is time spent without any purpose. When playing we lose track of time. How many times a week do we spend time without any purpose, simply doing what we want to do just because we enjoy it? Like Kristin and her friends did today. They were not concerned with a to-do-list, any deadlines, the benefits of that particular game, about how what they were doing was going to affect them in the future. They thought not of that, but of how to enjoy the day to it’s fullest.

I have a lot to learn from kids and I intend to start playing more. Not everything I do needs to have a purpose. Not everything I do needs to serve as a means to an end. Some things I do, I can do simply because it is fun. Where should I start? With a sand castle or by getting on a swing?

Anybody wants to come and make clay sculptures with me? Or have a water fight?

What made yesterday so spooky?

Here are some really weird things that happened yesterday:

Steve was in bed waiting for me to finish his pancakes and a bird flew into our room.

Steve and I were sharing at an outdoors meeting by a lake and a three-year-old boy came running behind our friend Egil with an axe. (Nothing happened, Egil gently took the axe away from him in the middle of Steve’s sermon.)

Our dog, Bob Marley, didn’t eat his daily dose of dandelions. (This was because he wasn’t outside as much as usual.)

If it's EVER warm enough to be outside in shorts we spend as little time as possible inside the house. It is a huge waste of the warm weather.

It got sunny and warm and we could sit outside in short sleeves and shorts and not freeze.

I met somebody who has been supporting Partners for years and it wasn’t until this morning I realized that it was him.

I opened our fridge and there were almost no vegetables there. Not even tomatoes.

Our kids went to church willingly, and they rode their bicycles there.

Kristin wanted to go to bed when it was bedtime.

Our Latvian friends did not go fishing all day although it was Sunday.

I got only three emails.

I sat down to read a novel although there was a lot of stuff that needed to be done.

Steve went for a run. (I did too, but this is not spooky, it’s normal)

Kids did the dishes with a good attitude, and wiped down the kitchen counter without being asked to.

Am I the only one who is a little freaked out about yesterday? Seriously, what got into me? Reading a novel when the kitchen was such a mess?

Learning about Gandhi Di Lama and other heroes

Gandhi di Lama? Mahatma Gandhi.

Over the years my girls have worked on numerous projects at school. So many late nights, tears, last minute scrambles to get the paper ready in time, frantic searches on the internet and in books, lost notes, printers that won’t work and me pulling my hair out while I try to find a thumb drive to put the project on so that we can go to the neighbor’s to have it printed, or the hole puncher, as was the case today.

It’s educational too. I learn a lot about the different issues my kids study, because without fail, I have to serve as the encyclopedia, the spell-checker, the design adviser and the time manager.

Tonight as Naomi was putting her finishing touches on her project on Gandhi (which she had a hard time remembering the name of. She came home claiming she was doing a project on Gandhi Di Lama one day, and the next day he had become Osama bin Gandhi. But we got the name down now: Mahatma Gandhi) this thought struck me:

Almost all the heroes my children learn about at school are heroes because of some conflict. Because of oppression and violence, of suffering and injustice. Elise did a book report on Martin Luther King Jr. Then there was Aung San Suu Kyi and Nelson Mandela. Gandhi. And now there is a project due on the Northern Ireland conflict. Even a book-report on the Lord of the Rings has the same theme.

Sad to look at world history, even up to today, and see that it is built on conflicts, on suffering and death of innocent people. Sad to see that it is men and women’s hunger for power that has caused it in most cases.

But it is uplifting too, because wherever injustice is happening, there is always somebody who defies evil and stand up for what is right. The ones who inspires hope and courage, who does what is right in the midst of wrongs. These have been the men and women my kids have chosen to learn about.

Naomi started her report on Gandhi (Di Lama) with these words: “I don’t just want to learn about Gandhi. I want to learn from him.”  She finished the project by saying: “If I should describe Gandhi with one word, it would be the word Brave. Everything he did required courage. I did not just do this project to get a good grade. I did it so I could experience Gandhi’s life.” She also included a quote by him that said: “Our actions reveals our priorities.”

All I can say is this: May there be hoards of other heroes that have fought their Goliath like David did. We need to hear about those heroes, learn from them and get inspired. Our children need to spend time learning from them, like Naomi wanted to do. And, it turns out, the world needs them now more than ever.

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