It is 10.40 pm and the house is quiet. Some days I cherish silence more than other days. Today is one of those days. You know the feeling of being on the go since 6 am, and this is the first time since you woke up that you sit down long enough to actually hear your thoughts? Today is one of those days.
Steve said today, on Skype, that I need to find time to nourish my soul. He is away, and we have not seen each other for a while. I shared the long list of things I had to do with him, and he said: “Find time for your soul or you will crack in half.” And I said that if I should find time for my soul too, then I would have to skip sleep, because there is no extra time in my day. None. And, I need my sleep.
Among many other things I did today, I went shopping for jeans with my NomNom (that is what I call my middle daughter). As she put the jeans in the bag, the sales lady said: “And remember to not use fabric softener with this one when you wash it.” I felt like crying. “Lady,” I thought, “do you understand anything about my life? Do you honestly think that I am going to sort my laundry and take out jeans that have lycra in them and wash them separately? I don’t even have time to wash my children’s socks. If the laundry get done, it is a good day. To think that I will have time to sort out the clothes that do better without fabric softeners is the most unrealistic thinking I have heard today.”
Suggesting that I find time in the day to nourish my soul felt a little like being told to find a way to wash some clothes without fabric softeners. I am not a super human.
But, as I am sitting here in my quiet house, I realize that my soul is not like jeans with lycra in them. My soul has other qualities. One of them is resilience.
There may not have been that 25 minute chunk of time to read something reflective, and spiritual today. There was no time to meditate on God’s word in a quiet place. But here is where I see that my soul got its vitamins and its strength today:
With my 11-year old daughter on my lap, getting hugged before the school bus came and took her away.
In the car laughing together with NomNom as she shared the most outrageous stories I have ever heard.
At a coffee shop, sipping fresh lattes and sharing a piece of carrot cake with my beautiful daughter.
On a bridge, laughing hysterically as we were trying to take a photo of ourselves.
Walking on the street, in a hurry, but still feeling the warm spring wind in our hair.
Driving, rushing at times, while watching the beauty of mountains and the ocean from the window.
Getting a warm welcome from the most loving dog God ever created.
Having a crockpot cook a delicious dinner while I was gone.
Sharing a meal with my kids who are pretty groovy after all, and my stepmom who is the coolest stepmom in the world.
Seeing that the dishes got done and I did not need to raise my voice.
A bottle of Australian Shiraz.
This and more have nurtured my soul today as I have been rushing about. In my head there is one compartment that focuses on the things I did not get done today. And another compartment that remembers all the beauty I experienced today. As I finish the day, I think that I want to dwell on the place that focuses on the beauty.