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Posts from the ‘Family’ Category

When do I hear my neighbor sing?

Book Cover sizedI have been working on translating my book, Picking Flowers on Dusty Roads, into Norwegian. It is a long, and boring task.

Since I am in the mood of the book, I have decided to share a few paragraphs here. Perhaps you will like it and want to get the whole book. Nothing would please me more!

mother and children

“It’s no secret that we in the West are masters at spending our lives running for the wrong reasons. We’ve entangled ourselves in a net of expectations and commitments that’t harder for us to get out of than it is for a fly to get out of the spider’s web. We all know that we need to stop before the spider eats us alive—sucking all the juices out of us until we’re dead.”

“I was sitting in a Karen village watching life unfold. I was an outsider and was able to observe without really taking part. The challenges of survival were more complex and involved than I probably understood. Only a few kilometers away the Burma Army loomed, carrying with them the threat of death. Minutes earlier I had talked to a villager who had shared the burden of not having enough to eat and not knowing if they’d survive the year with so little rice. The children were poorly dressed, and many had runny noses and coughs. And yet I saw joy and heard laughter. I felt a sense of peace that maybe was divine.

I always heard singing and it came from everywhere. Not exactly Elf-like, but honest and unpretentious songs that I imagined were about love and bravery. Men who were working the fields or walking through the jungle, women who were doing the laundry by the river, or carrying their babies up the hills, and children who were just running about, being kids, sang. I have never heard as much singing as I have in the presence of the Karen. I wondered, When did I last hear my neighbor sing, or my colleagues as they came to work on Monday morning? We have a reason to belt it out. We live in a free country, we have pantries full of food, microwaves, and walk-in closets, but the song coming from us often lack tunes.

On this evening I heard the singing coming from simple huts on the hills while I stood outside watching the myriads of stars dancing on the dark sky. There were no other sounds than the sounds of the jungle and the little piggy-snores coming from three piglets that were huddling together in a ditch in front of one of the houses.”

If you want to read more, you will have to get the book. You can do that here. If you rather buy it on Amazon, it is available there as well. Here is the link.

Treating my soul like fabric with lycra

It is 10.40 pm and the house is quiet. Some days I cherish silence more than other days. Today is one of those days. You know the feeling of being on the go since 6 am, and this is the first time since you woke up that you sit down long enough to actually hear your thoughts? Today is one of those days.

Steve said today, on Skype, that I need to find time to nourish my soul. He is away, and we have not seen each other for a while. I shared the long list of things I had to do with him, and he said: “Find time for your soul or you will crack in half.” And I said that if I should find time for my soul too, then I would have to skip sleep, because there is no extra time in my day. None. And, I need my sleep.

Among many other things I did today, I went shopping for jeans with my NomNom (that is what I call my middle daughter). As she put the jeans in the bag, the sales lady said: “And remember to not use fabric softener with this one when you wash it.” I felt like crying. “Lady,” I thought, “do you understand anything about my life? Do you honestly think that I am going to sort my laundry and take out jeans that have lycra in them and wash them separately? I don’t even have time to wash my children’s socks. If the laundry get done, it is a good day. To think that I will have time to sort out the clothes that do better without fabric softeners is the most unrealistic thinking I have heard today.”

Suggesting that I find time in the day to nourish my soul felt a little like being told to find a way to wash some clothes without fabric softeners. I am not a super human.

But, as I am sitting here in my quiet house, I realize that my soul is not like jeans with lycra in them. My soul has other qualities. One of them is resilience.

There may not have been that 25 minute chunk of time to read something reflective, and spiritual today. There was no time to meditate on God’s word in a quiet place. But here is where I see that my soul got its vitamins and its strength today:

With my 11-year old daughter on my lap, getting hugged before the school bus came and took her away.

In the car laughing together with NomNom as she shared the most outrageous stories I have ever heard.

At a coffee shop, sipping fresh lattes and sharing a piece of carrot cake with my beautiful daughter.

On a bridge, laughing hysterically as we were trying to take a photo of ourselves.

Oddny and Naomi

Walking on the street, in a hurry, but still feeling the warm spring wind in our hair.

Driving, rushing at times, while watching the beauty of mountains and the ocean from the window.

Getting a warm welcome from the most loving dog God ever created.

Having a crockpot cook a delicious dinner while I was gone.

Sharing a meal with my kids who are pretty groovy after all, and my stepmom who is the coolest stepmom in the world.

Seeing that the dishes got done and I did not need to raise my voice.

A bottle of Australian Shiraz.

This and more have nurtured my soul today as I have been rushing about. In my head there is one compartment that focuses on the things I did not get done today. And another compartment that remembers all the beauty I experienced today. As I finish the day, I think that I want to dwell on the place that focuses on the beauty.

Getting spring into my heart

After three very busy and intense weeks in Burma and Thailand I am finally back, to my kitchen table and my piles of work. I am overwhelmed. I don’t have enough hours in my days. I have too many things to do on my list. The dishwasher broke. The dog has an ear infection. The girls are cleaning their rooms, which means they leave their crap in the stairway. There are too many emails to reply to. The bills have to be paid before the bank repossess my house. My feet are cold. I need slippers.

my view

It’s hard to be in a bad mood when this is your view.

But outside the sun shines, the snow is melting, it is light until 9 pm, at least. There is spring in the air. There is the hope of a better future.

I need to look outside every time desperation threatens to overtake me. Then I am reminded that in the big picture dirty dishes don’t count. Perhaps unpaid bills do, but they don’t need to control my mood.

 

boy by Steve

This is a boy we met in Mae La refugee camp. A refugee camp is a place of poverty and sorrow, but also of laughter, resilience, kindness, imagination, forgiveness, courage, generosity and love.

I am trying to get my thoughts organized and get my head around all the stories I encountered in Burma. It seems like it is a life time away. In the days and weeks to come, you will be hearing more from my trip. The good and the bad, the fun and the sad. Hope you will stick with me.

I need you.

 

 

Refreshin’ in London

coffeecupAn empty coffee cup in a full coffee shop. Sunday morning in London, and Steve and I are trying to live the urban life. We have squeezed into the coffee shop where all the Londoners are having their breakfast, sheltered from the cold and humid day outside. I find it fascinating that we can all be sitting here, almost shoulder to shoulder, in a small room, drinking our coffee and minding our own business while we know nothing about each other. What would happen if we got locked in here for a few days and we had to start talking to each other? What would we find out about one another?

The barista has already gotten Steve’s attention. He is enthusiastic about his task, and makes his coffee with the same vigor the matador uses to manipulate the bull in the bullfight. Elegantly and with a hint of masculine power he knocks the coffee filter on to a steel bowl, making a noise that penetrates the constant buzz of conversation in the room—boom, boom, boom, boom.  The long table in the middle reminds me of Medieval times—a long table filled with people talking and laughing. Only difference is that the beer has been exchanged with cappuccinos and lattes. The attires worn are following the 21st century trends, not the 12th.

It is easy to block the real world out of my life, and only focus on small issues that my head is capable of, like: Should I get another cup of coffee.

Steve & Odd

Here we are trying to be urban in the cold London winter.

Soon I will be back in my home, with my kids, my dog, the dust bunnies in the corners, the empty pantry and the missing school books. Soon I will be back to my inbox, my unfinished work and a messy desk. I am looking forward to it. Going back to what the people I know and who know me, going back to a place that is safe, although it is messy. Going back to a job that gives purpose and meaning.

They sure have many good beer in London. I did not need any Fish & Chips.

They sure have many good beers in London. I did not need any Fish & Chips.

A weekend away is a fun distraction. We watched a great show, and enjoyed several of the local pubs. We got to ride on the London buses, and had great talks with our good friends and soon-to-be colleagues, Matt and Amy Smith.

Many hours of talks about how to change the world through relief, development and advocacy. What else would the world need?

Many hours of talks about how to change the world through relief, development and advocacy. What else would the world need?

We got to admire Matt's new iPhone, a true wonder.

We got to admire Matt’s new iPhone, a true wonder.

I am going back to my home in the country, without the once-every-90-seconds public transport, without the coffee shops on every corner, or the sidewalks with people, used gum, pigeon poop and cigarette butts. It will be a little sad, but mostly good.

Be nice or you will get a big nose

Among many other things the past week, we have enjoyed watching a theater Naomi, our middle daughter, has been a part of. It is a very local, very young and very enthusiastic group of actors and directors.

Naomi has the role as Limping Lina, and she is angry, bitter and mean. Mostly because people are always making fun of her and teasing her. She is actually a witch. But even mean witches had feelings at one time, and even witches can be made nice with love.

Naomi, the mean and bitter Limping Lina.

Naomi, the mean and bitter Limping Lina.

The one child who teases Limping Lina the most, her tormentor above other tormentors, is a girl named Lissa. Because she is so mean, her nose grows unimaginable large.

I liked watching the theatre. Mostly because Naomi did such a great job, and also because I knew a lot of the other kids. But I also liked the story. It had a good moral:

If you are mean to people you will get a nose that looks like a trunk.

Be nice or you will get a very long nose

Be nice or you will get a very long nose

Many people become unlikeable because people have been mean to them first. If you just show them some love, they will most likely become nice people.

People are followers. They will follow people who tell them to do mean stuff and they will follow people who tell them to be nice. It is a lot better to lead the world into doing good than to lead the into being bad.

People are followers

People are followers

As I think about the situation I have encountered in Burma (as well as the injustices I hear about from around the world), I have thought that a good solution would have been to let the tormentors get big noses. There ought to be some kind of natural law that automatically makes noses grow huge when you break the law of human dignity and treat people meanly. I would even vote for letting the noses have worts if they do such horrible things to innocent civilians as they for example do to the Rohingya, as well as to many other ethnic groups in Burma. Then they would walk around at the markets, to their gala dinners and to their political meetings, and all people would look at them knowingly: “Aha, there goes a human rights violator, a person who is mean and dishonest, who will take advantage of others in order to get what he or she wants. That nose serves him or her well!”

It is unlikely that it will happen, but it is an interesting thought.

 

 

Winners never quit

It was a big event. Kristin had planned what to wear for days. It actually resulted in two trips to the store because the first dress was not perfect. It was also a day when Kristin appreciated having older sisters who helped her with her hair and makeup. Of course, we are talking about the Christmas ball. Her dance school arranged a ball, it was Kristin’s first ever. 

Some of the privileges with older sisters.

Some of the privileges with older sisters.

The Waltz was perfect.

First the parade

First the parade

And so were the other dances. She allowed Daddy one dance with her. The rest was dedicated to the boys who were all stylish in their shirts and ties. To be almost 11!

K and Isak

When they finished she got a card from her dance teacher and her husband. They had written words of wisdom to each child. I really appreciated the effort they had made giving each child a word that they hoped would mean something to them. The word Kristin got could not have been better:

A winner never quits. Those who quit will never win. 

Now, this is something Kristin knows. This is why she says things like: Mom, I will go to bed in just a sec. Let me just do my five pull-ups first. But it was something I felt was a word for me and for the  world around me as well. 

I don’t know what challenges we all are faced with. Mine are different daily. Some are huge, like saving the Rohingya people from getting killed or starved to death. Others are not so big, in a world perspective, but big enough for me: How am I going to find the time to do all the stuff I need to do the next two weeks? Then there are personal challenges like making my time for my 10k just a little faster or getting up a little earlier so I can have a devotion. 

The thing I was reminded yesterday was that whatever the challenges are, if I quit, I will never experience the joy of overcoming, the joy of victory, however small that victory may be. 

My dance moves are not as smooth as Kristin's, but quitting for that reason? No way!

My dance moves are not as smooth as Kristin’s, but quitting for that reason? No way!

So, as you continue on your day, remind yourself of this too: Winners don’t quit. Quitters don’t win. I want to be a winner. In the eyes of Jesus. In my own eyes. In the eyes of my children, my family and my close friends. And winning means overcoming obstacles. Different ones every day. Different ones for each one of us. 

Things I wish I had known at 15

Happy Girls Day, Elise, Naomi and Kristin. Remember it is OK to be you. It is OK to dream. It is OK to fail sometimes. And moms are smarter than you think.

Today is Girls day! I just found out too. It seems it is not just a day of pink, cupcakes and frills. No, it is a day to focus of girls needs around the world. I think it is necessary and important to do so. Girls need to get to go to school in countries where boys get first priority. Girls have the right to health care in places where it is inadequate. Girls need to understand that their worth is equal to that of boys. And the list goes on.

Today I read a blog on what famous and influential women said about what they wished they had known when they were 15. What advice would they give 15-year olds today?

I thought it was interesting. And since I have three girls myself, and they are all close to 15 (10,14 and 16) I thought I would write a list for them. I will try to get them to read it, and hopefully take this advice.

1. Trust what you know about yourself and stay true to what you believe in.

2. Don’t always try to please others and be what they want you to be.

3. Have a dream and work towards it.

4. Never fear failure and mistakes. You will only achieve success if you know how to learn from your mistakes and failures. (The biggest heartbreaks will only make sense as you look back. Many of what seems to be your bigger setbacks will end up leading to your biggest opportunities, in ways you cannot predict.)

5. Learn from those who walked before you (like your mom), but carve your own path too. Be different!

6. Always do something for others.

7. Even when you don’t think he is, God is always there, by your side. Talk to him.

I wish somebody had told me all this when I was 15. It would have saved me a lot of grief and wasted opportunities. Original is cool! Failure is inevitable, and our best teacher. Doing something for others is the best recipe for happiness and fulfillment. Bad hair days are not the end of the world. Zits come and go. The cool jeans you want today will be considered out of style tomorrow, so find your own unique style instead. Although you think what mom and dad do and say now is incredibly nerdy, old fashioned, strict and downright dumb, you will thank us one day. You may even say: Mom was right.

Happy Girls day!

The riches of the land (and water)

Yesterday I felt like the woman described in Proverbs 31. Except I did not get up at dawn. The sun raises at 4 am, mind you.

But I got up and made wholesome pancakes, bursting with energy and health from the flax seeds, whole wheat and oats I put in them. (And, yes, they tasted good, thank you.) Then I drove to Ingebjørg, my stepmom and eased her burden by helping her pick some of the cherries from her bountiful tree. With the help from Naomi and Elise we did great. The harvest was impressive.

Back home, our Latvian friends had blessed us with a bag full of fish they had just caught. The only problem: I would have to fillet them by myself. And I was not thrilled.

But, as the Proverbs 31 woman I was, I attacked the fish with, not a plugged nose, but the sharpest knife in the house.

I managed pretty well, don’t you think?

And just as I had gotten the hang of it, my friend Helen came walking by, and she was happy when I said I would give her the rest of the fish for free if they wanted to fillet them by themselves. You see, I have a freezer full of fish already.

I finished pitting the cherries, put them and the fish in the freezer, though in separate bags. Then I had myself a glass of soda with OJ while I read a chapter from the novel I am reading, Sarum, by Edward Rutherford. Interesting reading. Especially since I will go to the UK soon.

And by the end of the day I thought: This was a really good day, and I am blessed to live from the land and the water. Not everybody is as rich as me.

The end.

Rebuilding a blogger

Not really sure what went wrong there. It was like…I stopped blogging.

I had my reasons. My daughters and I got the worst possible flight to go to the US, and we travelled for three whole days and saw more airports and breathed more bad airplane air than all of you perhaps have in a lifetime. At one point where we were starting to get violent. That was in Chicago when the flight attendant informed us that she didn’t know when the pilot was going to show up because, actually, he was at that moment at a different airport. 

This family has seen more airports than the average family. This is in Australia many years ago, but it was no more fun then.

During those days I did not feel like writing a blog.

Then we zigzagged around America, spreading the good news about Partners, and when not doing that we did stuff like hiking, canoeing, shopping and drinking beer from local breweries.

No blogging opportunities at the Boundary Waters. We were just busy following the tracks of the Indians and the beavers.

Somehow, every time I wanted to write a blog, we were either on a lake, or at our campsite without my computer, and with no internet. Or my computer was out of battery and one of the girls had all the chargers. (No matter how many chargers we have, there is never one for me, and the girls always manage to get one. Of course, they have first priority, considering how much catching up they have to do on Facebook.)

At the few moments when I was at a place with my computer, with Internet and with a charger, I just did not feel like writing. I just thought that if I had to write anything right then I would start to feel sick. So rather than getting sick from blogging, I simply kept reading my book or I did another workout. Some times I even checked Facebook instead. But that was VERY rare.

On nights like this, I wrote blogs to God in my heart.

All this is to say that I am sorry that so many of you, faithful followers, have not heard from me for a very long time. I feel like I have let you down. But I am also glad to report that I am back to stay. Just look at this spot from time to time, and you will find that I have been here. 

For now, this is all I have to say.

Human rights and the color of your eyes.

Today I took a look at Kristin’s comments about human rights and ethics. She said some things that were plain cute. Not everything was right, but it gave me some insights.

Kristin and dad

“Ethics is when you treat the dark people worse than the light ones (I think she got the words mixed up here and explained discrimination instead.)

We need to think that all people are of equal worth and we need to think before we act.

Socrates, he is helping a little in the UN.

Human Rights means that all should get what they want.

An example is that if one is popular and one is not, they are still of equal value.

The Declaration of Human Rights is: They meet every year and talk about new rules they can put in the book.

To discriminate means that for example somebody has blue eyes and somebody has brown. And then the ones with blue eyes are not allowed to come to Norway.”

So these are Kristin’s thoughts. Certainly they are very simplified, but I thought about this: If one is popular and the other is not should not determine their value. In Burma this is still not true. It still seems like the ethnic minorities are the unpopular ones, and the ones who are not considered of equal value. This is wrong in the mind of a ten-year old, and it is wrong in my mind.

Says I. I have brown eyes and hopefully I can therefore live peacefully in Norway.

 

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