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Posts from the ‘Reflections’ Category

Nov 2

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Same, same, but different

Some people I have met think that my family and I must have the most extraordinary life there is, so full of adventure, fun, challenges and thrills. I like my life. But, mostly, it isn’t any more full of first-class drama than most people’s lives. This I am going to prove by describing how my work-day has been today.

Wouldn’t you believe it! As I look out through my window by my desk, the  view is similar to yesterday’s view: Rain.

Same, same, but different

I have spent a large portion of my day trying trying to cross off stuff on my to-do-list. I did not totally succeed, and I ended up working on things that I had not put on my list as well. I am committed to using scrap-paper for my list. This one is an invitation to the dentist. Deserves to become scrap.

You may notice that I didn't write very neatly. That is because I did not realize the list was going to get published.

Here is my endless inbox with 354 emails in it. I don’t think I will ever see the bottom of it.

I must learn to have system, says Steve. I do. All the messages are here!

Here is the stupid ticket that I have been trying to change for two days. Never buy discount tickets on discount websites if you are as disorganized as me!

I am going to teach at a Karen church and did not realize how much time it would take to get there. My geography skills are bad.

Here you can also see my favorite tea cup and my journal that I bring with me everywhere. I write down all the ideas that pop into my head here, and I also write stuff that I must remember. My tea cup is great. I make Chai with soya milk and then make it a little less granola by eating chocolate. I did not take a picture of the chocolate. But it was dark, and only a square. OK, two squares.

Let it speak for itself

Here you see the first page of the draft of my new book. I try to rewrite it all the time so that it will be so good that publishers will sense it from afar and just call me. It hasn’t happened yet, so I need to keep rewriting.

It's copyrighted

Here is my stupid, but kind and faithful dog who loves it when I work from home. He follows me around all day. If I go to the bathroom, he will wait outside. When I make tea he stands next to me. When I put wood on the fire, he comes with. It gets a little annoying at times. I like to be alone SOME time. But he means well. He thinks I like it when he never leaves me alone.

He tried to eat a sticker and it got stuck on his beard. Proves how smart he is.

So all this is to say that my days are pretty ordinary. Some days less than ordinary. Some days plain old boring. But boring days are good for my soul. It has a calming effect. And, when it gets so boring I can stand it no more, I remind myself of who I am doing this for, and that helps me a little. Then I go and read a chapter in a book or write a blog. Life isn’t so bad.

Nov 2

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Sun through rain

A promise is a promise, and I did say I would write a blog that would change people’s lives. I am a few days late, but that is due to some other important activities—involving dress-ups for Halloween and a party with lots of kids high on sugar, corn syrup,glucose, artificial flavorings and colors. They are still recovering.

Recovery will take some days of only eating veggies and apples

OK, so I think this thing about writing something that will change lives was just my need for attention and a way to get people to come back to look at what I have written. What could it be, people are wondering. Does she have news about Brad Pitt?

The thing is that I have nothing new to say that hasn’t been said before. People have been saying the same thing in different ways throughout history and, like the person who wrote Ecclesiastics said: Nothing is new under the sun. I say: Nothing is new in Oddny’s head. Then I say: Nothing is new with the weather in Norway in October as well as November.

View from my desk today.

I go to work and it is the same old in Burma, and it is the same old on my desk, and it is the same old in my inbox. I look outside and it is the same old rain.

View from my desk a little later.

But, then, today, wonder of all wonders, the sun tried to break through the clouds that were as thick as the Chinese Wall. (I am sure they were thicker. I don’t know much about the thickness of clouds, just that they have not let the sun through for ages.)

And it kind of happened in my work day too. Because even though the situation in Burma as predictable as the cold rain on muddy roads here, there is hope. I have been thinking about the kids at Nidarvoll school that I visited a couple of weeks back (and I was asked to become the queen of Burma). Those kids, along with their teachers, worked so hard and created so much enthusiasm that in just over one night they had raised 100 000 NKr (that is 17000 USD) for Partners work with the refugees in Burma. I don’t know any other kids who have done that!

Original art made by masters. Who wouldn't want to buy it?

As soon as it is cleared in the bank, I will pass it on to our team in Thailand, who will distribute it in ways that will help the most kids, and adults, in Burma.

It was just like the sun that broke through the dark sky, sending the most beautiful light across the fields and on the trees. Kids shining a light on Burma. It’s not the same old.

Oct 29

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T.G.I. Friday

Fridays are nice days. Friday nights I am usually full of Christmas-like expectancies. There are so many good things to look forward to: The ice-cold Guinness that I have been looking forward to popping open and pouring into a tall glass all week. Black like molasses. Frothy like a polluted river.

Then there is my favorite program on TV. The only program on TV that I watch, actually. It is called “The news once more.” Well, in Norwegian is sounds so much better: “Nytt på nytt.” For thirty minutes five more or less famous people sit in a studio and share the news of the past week the way they see it, in a very humorous way. I laugh a lot and wish I could be so cunning with my one-liners. And I try to remember some of the things they say, so that I can use it—on my blog for example.

Here is one of the long-term "Nytt på nytters." He produces funny statements and observations like other people produce buggers. I don't know how he does it.

This is the leader for Nytt på nytt, Jon Almaas. He is very witty and incredibly good-looking. One of Norway's finest men, in my opinion.

It is also the thought that tomorrow morning I can sleep until I want to get up, which most likely will be seven. That is a whole hour extra and I can’t wait to go to bed tonight thinking about that. No alarm clock for two wondrous mornings.

I am anxious in a good and nervous way about all the cleaning I have to do tomorrow. All week I have been thinking about when to mop the floor, and I have either not been able to justify the time it would take (I do have a job, after all), or I have not been able to get the dog to stay outside long enough and he thinks the mop is an animal he must kill, or I have been too tired at night after the kids went to bed. Tomorrow is the day: My house will get cleaned.

I am thinking about how I will be feeling at this time tomorrow night. Going to bed in a clean house. I may be better than going to bed after Guinness.

Lastly, I am going to go for a long run somewhere tomorrow. A bit longer than normal. That will be my treat after all that cleaning. Thinking about that makes Friday night a good night as well.

Some Saturdays I bake something good to eat with coffee. The thought of that also makes Friday nights great.

No wonder I am excited about Friday nights. They are the reward of a week well spent. And to think that every week has a Friday night makes me thankful in a childish way.

I also think that tomorrow night I will write a meaningful blog. Something that will shock and challenge. Something that may change the lives of some people. I may write an idea that will make people see the world, their faith, their lives in a completely different light. I can’t wait to write that blog entry tomorrow.

Oct 28

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Putting logs on the fire

Some days people are too busy to write blogs. The last few days I have had other things on my mind:

  • Carrying wood inside for the fire.
  • Making the fire.
  • Making the fire again when the first fire died.
  • Taking the dog outside to pee.
  • Making sure the fire is burning.
  • Praying.
  • Getting kids out of bed although it is as dark as the night and as cold as sushi.
  • Telling the kids to get dressed. Telling the kids to eat. Telling the kids to make lunch. Telling the kids to hurry up. Telling the kids to open the bathroom door. Telling the kids to hurry. Telling the kids to eat. Telling the kids to pack their bags. Telling the kids to get dressed. Telling the kids to speak nicely. Telling the kids they are going to be late. Running up and down the stairs to get the things the kids forgot.
  • Watching the kids walk off to school. Across the field, together with a trail of other kids who are equally groggy, equally late, equally looking like the dwarfs in Snow White.
  • Checking the fire.
  • Cleaning the impressive mess in the kitchen.
  • Wondering why all my clothes are so boring.
  • Putting on some of my boring clothes.
  • Some say that now the day begins.

This is posed. They are rarely this together in the mornings.

I would say it differently some days. I would say: This is only the beginning. Then off I go to all my thousands of activities.

Email and laundry. It may be what does me in one of these days.

Today was a little different. First we went for dinner at our neighbor’s house at 4. (That is when we eat dinner in Norway. Why is that so strange?) We ate and chatted around their big dining table. Then we moved over to the coach and had coffee and a piece of cake while we kept on talking. At long last we got up, put our coats on and walked home in the dark. The air smelled of late fall, wood fires and the winter that is to come.

The smell of fall. Promises of winter. And summer.

Then I moved on to a Bible study group in the evening where we did more talking and eating. And I thought about how nice it is to belong in a fellowship and how important it is. I thought that people are generally so different from me. (Good thing for them. Good for the world. One of me is enough) That is a good thing because I am learning that although they are different in background, tastes and stature, all people generally want to belong, want to share their hearts and want to do something good for others. And that is something I have in common with them. If that is all we have in common, then that is OK too because those are the most important qualities. (Some other qualities are good too: Courage and the ability to do accounting are two.)

Now I am home and my house is a mess and I am behind with many tasks. But, I have already carried the wood inside and it’s looking good for tomorrow.

Oct 24

4 Comments

A voice from the past

Today my good friend John called me. We had not talked for 15 years and that is too long. The talk took me right back to my years in Japan more than 20 years ago and I have stayed there all afternoon. John’s thing is church planting and leadership, and in those areas he has been very successful. The church we started in Japan all those years ago was a little bit like a miracle because you don’t start successful churches in Japan. Well, Japan did not know John, and they did not know what God can do through people like him and his disciples, one of them me—20 years old and very enthusiastic.

Main-stream or traditional was not how people described us. Naive, unskilled, culturally insensitive, immature, financially unstable, theologically unfit were adjectives more commonly used. It turned out that it was exactly what God needed to get his work done: The most unlikely missionaries to succeed in the history of missions in Japan. That was my team. And John was the leader. And I was committed to the cause. We succeeded.

But, actually, John has made a lasting imprint onto my life in other ways than church planting. He got me into running. Monday mornings at around ten, or week nights sometimes late, John would put on his sweats and a t-shirt and pretty much make it mandatory for me to put on my Nikes that were a hundred years old and my bohemian running outfit. Then we were off in the neighborhoods of Ichikawa. Some days in the sweltering tropical heat, other times in the cold rain and wind of the winter. And just like Forrest Gump, I just kept running for all those years after that.

Not exactly 20 years ago, but almost. Running for refugees in Burma. So much better than running for just myself.

I completely forgot to ask John if he still runs. I will have to ask him next time we talk, hopefully before 15 more years have passed.

John is the pastor of a cool-looking church in Stockholm called New Life church. You can read about them here.

John van Dinther, pastor of New Life Church and my running mentor and fellow church planter

I wish I had pictures to display of the Ichikawa church planters and runners. I will look for them when I move back to Thailand where my earthly possessions are stored.

As I am contemplating this, a thought enters my sleepy mind: All my main accomplishments appear to have been successful to certain degrees  in spite of me. What I mean is that a lot of the things I have succeeded at were bound to fail—often because of me and the people I surrounded myself with, but succeeded. I must be a living proof that God works miracles. And I don’t say this flippantly. I say it with awe.

Oct 20

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Transparent like dirty water

I like transparent people the most. The ones who don’t cover up their imperfections with perfect masks. I have some friends that willingly admit their shortcomings, fears and insecurities, who are willing to get advice from others and who are very quick to say sorry when they realize they have stepped wrong. Actually, the first person (other than Steve. He is always so transparent that I have to tell him it is OK if he doesn’t tell the whole world every time he picks his nose) I thought of right now was our Partners team leader in Thailand, Brad. I think his humility is part of what makes him such a good leader. He is more gifted and capable than most people in the world, and yet, he constantly asks for help, guidance and forgiveness. If a person like him needs that, how much more do I? (Don’t even ask, please.)

I am working on becoming a person who gladly lets the world know my shortcomings. I try to tell myself that imperfection is OK as long as I am willing to learn, to change, to admit wrongs. Imperfection is OK as long as I still seek to do what is right for others. It’s OK to ask for help. To ask for help is the hardest. By doing that I am revealing my incompetence and letting another person be above me in whatever skill I need help with. That would be OK if it was a skill I never claimed I had, but, oh, so hard when it comes to the areas where I thought I had it figured out, like raising kids and husbands—or how to do Photoshop, for that matter.

On the news yesterday they talked about how the military junta in Burma will not allow any foreign observers to come to the country to observe their so-called democratic elections. None. Period. It’s obvious why. If they had nothing to hide there would be no problem at all to allow people to come and watch how they are doing this d-e-m-o-c-r-a-c-y. But they have a lot to hide. A lot to be ashamed of. A lot that they should be very worried about the world finding out. Better to keep the world out.

I like transparent governments the best too. The Burma government is certainly not one of those. The elections are going to take place in less than a month. I wonder if one of the reasons they won’t allow any foreign observers to watch is that they have followed the tradition they started when they had the Constitution approved: They filled in the ballots for the voters, they held a gun to their head and told the voters how to vote, they threatened the voters with kidnapping of family members, loss of jobs and other uncomfortable prospects if they did not vote right. That and the fact that they still, as of last week shoot on kids. (you can read the latest report from FBR on that—http://www.freeburmarangers.org/Reports/2010/20101014.html)

It would be so much better if they at least could say: Help! We don’t know how to run this country. Can somebody come and help us figure out how to keep a human right for example. So much better.

Sadly, I doubt it will happen any time soon. Pride. That is the opposite of transparency in my book.

Transparent leader

Not transparent leader

Oct 18

6 Comments

I am what I choose

I want to choose community before tasks. So hard, but so right

I have said this before, but since it is so true, it is OK to repeat it: The freedom of choice is often a burden. Because when we get to choose, we also run the risk of choosing wrong. And since we have made the choice, then the responsibility is ours too. I like it when things go wrong and I can blame others. Don’t you? I can blame left and right, blame my husband, my kids, my country, my neighbors, my dog…

Today I feel like I have been reminded of this from a lot of angels. First I had my quiet time and the book I am reading talked about our desires. And that, really, if we get rid of all the fluff, then our desires and God’s are the same, because it is God who has put the desires in our hearts to begin with. Yeah, I know this one is hard to swallow, but just think about it for a moment. And remember to get rid of the fluff. This lady in the book also talked about making choices and that nobody ever does anything one has not chosen to do. She said that sometimes the choice may be between the lesser of two evils, but it is true even in a situation where there appears to be no choice. That stings too. Like, it’s my own fault that I get fat when I drink too much beer? Or more seriously: Maybe I am lonely because of my own choices, or broke, or whatever.

So, in a way, I can say that I am what I have chosen to become. My life is a string of decisions.

Then my friend Ingun called to check on me (which she does from time to time because she is such a good person) and we talked about the future. And we both agreed that there are times when it would be easier to be told what to do than to actually be given the freedom to choose. (We of course probably don’t mean that, we just said it. Because the second our freedom to choose was taken away, we would hate life. It would be like being forced to peel potatoes outside with only cold water and it was rainy and windy and cold like it is now.)

A little later I got an email from another good friend, Lynn (she is so great that I think she has been mentioned on this blog three times. That is a great person) who said this: Someone asked me about the wrong decisions I had made in life and I answered that because I truly like who I am and where I am in life, can there really be wrong decisions as life is what shapes us to be the people we are. Without all the choices I made…..right or wrong….I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am

And I thought: How true that is, and how freeing. If we truly seek to do right and follow our hearts and try to do unto others what we would want them to do to us, then, really, it is hard to go totally wrong. And even if we do go totally wrong and end up flat on our noses with scratches here and there, that is OK too. Because, like Lynn said, that is what is going to turn us into the people we are meant to be.

I made some right choices today. I chose to let the house stay a little messy and spent time with the girls instead. I chose to go for a run although it was dark and cold. I chose to chat with Elise instead of thinking of a budget (Wow, hard choice!). I also chose to eat a cinnamon roll tonight when I really should have eaten an apple. Now I am choosing to end this long blog entry.

Oct 16

2 Comments

When people step on toes

Motives are hard to judge sometimes. I often wonder about mine. I think I am more concerned about my own glory than the cause I am working for. I remind myself of my kids who make such a big deal of getting the credit for whatever little they may have done to keep the house respectable.

Today I was a little annoyed that some organizations in this country had actually left us out in their pursuit of freedom for Burma.(You see, I feel entitled to this job myself.) And not only that, they had made their opinions public and used photos that my husband had taken. And did they credit him? No. And not only that, they made suggestions to the government that Partners had made an eternity ago. But was that even an issue? No.

So I was sulking by my desk feeling robbed for some fame mostly, and influence in the inner circles. I doubt that if our name (Partners) had been mentioned more and my husband’s name had been on the photo freedom would have come to Burma any sooner. I was more concerned about being left out than I was about the actual cause. I even wrote a couple of emails to set things straight.

My friend, Linda, gently reminded me that my job is not to go out looking for fame and credit and headlines in the news. My job is to do what I am supposed to do and to let God deal with the rest. Let him deal with the people who make mistakes. Let him deal with the people who perhaps act immature. Let him deal with the rest of the stuff. I

I thought that was true and felt convicted. I let my heart settle with the verse that Linda reminded me of Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,who have been called according to his purpose.”

I so easily judge others and their motives, and then I find myself committing the exact same mistake myself, and feel justified in doing so. Perhaps I should give little more grace to others when they make the same mistakes I do, because I know that I will do the same mistakes myself. If you know what I mean.

Tomorrow will start with new opportunities to do what is right. And that will be my goal. Do what is right. Even if it means nobody will notice and nobody will even care. But it is about being faithful. Faithful.

Oct 12

6 Comments

I became the paralyzed man :(

Today has been a pretty good day for me. I have talked about Partners and Burma to my heart’s content. So much that I am feeling a little tired of my own voice. Imagine that!

This morning I got up early before the rest of the family rose. Like a Proverbs 31 woman I was up before dawn preparing breakfast for my family (cereal and milk), and then I had my quiet time. I wanted to reflect, think and pray. I thought that perhaps at such an early hour God would speak to me.

The Scripture my devotion lead me to was Mark 2:1-12. It is the story about the four friends who lower the paralyzed man down through the roof and place him right before the feet of Jesus, making it impossible for Jesus to ignore them. Such guts those guys had, and what imagination! Recently I read the exact same Scripture for my devotion and as I closed my eyes and asked what it may mean, I felt Jesus say: “I need you to help.” I thought that was a cool thing to hear. It made me feel needed and called by Jesus. In that room, all those thousands of years ago, I could have been one of the people that moved stuff away for Jesus to have time to heal and preach. I could even have been one of the ones serving food to everybody. I could possibly have been the one standing next to Jesus holding his notes. The best scenario would have been that I was one of the four guys lowering the paralyzed man down through the roof. A very meaningful position.

Today, as I read the passage again, I heard something entirely different: “You are the paralyzed man who needs the help of the four friends.” What a shocking thing to realize for somebody as capable as myself! But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was true. I am in need of people around me that can lower me down (a pretty stressful job) and put me before the feet of Jesus for me to get fixed by him. I cannot get there by myself, but I need the brothers and sisters around me to get me there. And I am pretty sure that that is the intention God had all along. We are not supposed to lower ourselves down, but we are supposed to depend on others. In that comes real humility, but also the true blessing of belonging to a fellowship.

It is the way it is supposed to be. We all take turns being the paralyzed person on the mat, or one of the helpers. But I am pretty sure that we all need time on the mat first, and then we can get up, ready to serve and help.

Wonder what devotion is awaiting tomorrow morning. Hopefully nothing about fasting…

Why would anyone think I need help? I am in control. 100%.

Oct 10

2 Comments

The most beautiful woman I know

I bake the ugliest pita breads, and we are never able to open them up so that they become neat pockets to put yummy stuff inside. But my breads are tasty, nevertheless. Fresh out of the oven and with lots of Mediterranean condiments to go along with them I have to say it is a first-class meal. That is what we ate tonight. One of my favorite people in the world stopped by for a surprise visit. Her name in Amparo and she is from Equador. Although she just turned 50 she is, hands down, the most beautiful woman I know. Without going into too much details I can say that she has gone through ugly betrayals and a lot of pain, and she has raised 7 kids pretty much on her own, and that is without hardly any money. And now she is almost done with her education and she is seeing the light at the end of her tunnel and her kids are mostly out of the house and they are all as beautiful as her and as smart as her and they will do well in life, I know it. I look at Amparo and I think: If she could do what she did and still look so beautiful and still be so gracious and generous, then I surely can handle a couple of hurdles myself. I shouldn’t feel sorry for myself if I can’t afford a new pair of cool boots for the winter, if you know what I mean. Life has bigger issues than boots.

Amparo brought with her a young woman from the Philippines that is living with her now. Her name is Luella. Luella came to Norway to work and then almost died one day because her kidney failed. Now she is going to the hospital every day to have machines clean her blood since the kidney is not able to do it, and she is waiting for somebody to donate a new kidney for her. “If I had not come to Norway to work, I probably would have died,” she said. “I could not have afforded this treatment in my country.”

We talked about what is important in life. We were full from the pitas and the lentil soup and the olive pesto and all the other stuff. We were three women from three different countries and we all agreed on one thing: It is wrong when business and activities take our time away, and when all the activities and business replace fellowship and true relationships. Luella said: “My parents used to tell me that it is better to be poor and be close to our family and friends, than to be rich and have no relationships.” I think Luella’s parents were on to something.

Later I went for a run and it was dark, rainy and cold. I looked at the clouds speeding above my head and the silhouettes of the trees on the fields. In a distance I heard the ocean, and I did not meet a soul. “I want true relationships more than riches, and deep fellowship more than surface acquaintances that  only tell me what I want to hear and only let me know that their lives are perfect,” I thought. “I think I need to admit that some days when I go running, it sucks and I think I am going to die and there are even days when I stop and walk.”

I came home and read a book for Kristin that is about owls that make right out of wrong and that mend what is broken and that speak only truth.

It has been a day that has taught me something. Taught me to live.

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