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Posts from the ‘Relationships’ Category

Gardening for world peace

It is springtime in Norway. Finally! On the fields all around the tractors are driving so fast across the brown dirt that I am sure the seeds understand they need to hurry up and grow. The summer is short. There is no time to waste.

Every day I notice a small change outside. Another wild flower has braved the open air, some more leaves have come out—another shade of green has been discovered. After a long winter, it is like we—the Norwegians are coming back to life. People are out walking, bicycling, gardening, and running. Some just sit on their verandas with their eyes closed, enjoying the warmth of the sun. We, in Norway, rarely think the sun is too warm. And some of us even think that if we utter the words (the sun is too warm) it may cause it to disappear from the sky. (OK, not really true, but almost.)

I have been carried away with gardening too. The nice weather, the light and the birds singing all around inspired me.

My backyard was pretty much made by God (and some farmers) so I don’t need to do much there.

my backyard

But in the front of the house, the challenges abound. It has been hard, but rewarding work.

For example, I want to finish our rock fence. But without rock, no fence. So I have used our wheelbarrow to get rocks from the beach and up to our yard. And, let me tell you, rocks are heavy!

But, it is starting to look good.
my wheelbarrow

And my flowers they are happy with the sun, the water and the care they are getting.

my flowers

So although this is not a gardening blog. I wanted to share with you how much gardening reminds me of real life.

The weeds that pop up everywhere is a well-known metaphor. But an important one nevertheless. They never stop. They need to be taken out daily. Like the small weeds that threatens to take over the soil in our heart that was meant to produce fruit and flowers for God, and for the world.

The importance of good soil is another good one. Steve and I spent time planting bulbs last fall, hoping we would have tons of tulips and daffodils this spring. But, sadly, the dirt was hard and not very well suited for tulips, and therefore we got just a few small ones.

The main thing I am learning, however, is patience. Nothing grows up overnight. We have to wait. We have to be persistent. And, eventually, we will see the results.

This is for sure true in my own life, as well as in our ministry. If only I could remember that when I get impatient with the lack of results, the lack of change, the lack of flowers the day I plant the seeds.

my blomkarse

I planted these some weeks ago. They are not very pretty yet, but give it a few weeks, and they will color my world. May they remind me of the seeds I plant every day, in my life, in other people’s lives, and in my efforts to make the world a better place.

So, here I sign off, because the sun is out, and it is time for me to go and dig in the dirt.

Like an anemone in spring-time

It has overwhelmed me to see how many have read the story of Masuda, and who have contacted me about it, or written comments on Facebook, Twitter and my blog. It has made me feel like in this world there is hope. You have given me hope.

The story I shared about Masuda was the saddest story I have ever heard. I sat with her, three Muslim men and my Rohingya friend and translator, Nina (not her real name), and listened to her story. When she was done sharing, I did not know what to do or what to say. What exactly do you say to a person who has lost 29 relatives? What do you say to a person who not  lost her whole family, but who saw them get brutally murdered? What do you say to a person who has no home any more, nothing to live for, no reason to get up in the morning?

I did not have anything to say to her. I could only cry with her. I could only tell her that I can’t understand what she is going through. I could embrace her. I could look her in the eyes and tell her to not give up although it is tempting. But I will never be able to give her her family back.

It’s hard not to feel phony. One has to wonder if one’s presence is worth anything at all. But I have to believe that what we do does matter. If not, then what are we doing here?

Like a bright sun

Like a bright sun

In Norway we are now, finally, experiencing early spring. Everything is still brown, grey or black around us. The snow has melted, but it is too soon to see green grass. But in the middle of all the dead leaves and grass, some brave, small flowers have the courage to stick their heads up above the ground. Two kinds of flowers come first, the yellow Coltsfoot that we call Hestehov, and the blue Anemones that we call Blåveis. They shine like specks of color in the brown landscape.

The other day I was talking to my friend, and my neighbor. She said this: If the Blåveis had bloomed in the middle of summer, we may not even have noticed it. 

bl_veis_100408

I agreed. In the summer there are wild-flowers galore. There are so many colors that we all want to become painters to capture the beauty. There are flowers so bright, and in so many different shapes and sizes, and with the most tempting fragrances. Compared to many of those flowers, and to the plethora of colors we may not think the timid Blåveis is much to look at. But now we do. It gives us the hope that a new season is on the way. It shows us that after a long, dark and cold winter, there is a new time coming.

When she said that I thought that perhaps for Masuda I was like the Blåveis in the early spring. And I thought that you too may be that one little flower in a field of brown and dry grass to many who have lived through a long, dark and unmerciful winter.

Talking about exercising the faith muscles

Today I have been preparing my teachings for when I am going to speak at New Life Church in Stockholm this weekend. When I prepare teachings, it goes something like this:

Trying to get inspired by the view outside

Trying to get inspired by the view outside

Write down some random thoughts. Look at previous teachings and take some good nuggets from them. Thinking about eating something. Looking something up on the internet. Looking something up in books. Writing some emails. Checking Facebook. Writing some thoughts. Adding some words. Getting up and looking out through the window. Thinking about what I shall wear. Looking at what I have pulled together and deciding it does not look good at all. Starting over again. Deciding to only use key words and hopefully remember what the key words mean. Changing my mind. Writing everything down, like I am writing an essay. Shutting the computer and going to make coffee. Thinking that this sucks and is the worst teaching ever. Getting a thought, and starting with that. Doing the whole process over again. And this is what happens when you give a mouse a cookie.

OK, well. This is extreme, but it is true, nevertheless.

But, here is a paragraph I wrote that is part of the teaching. It is out of context, but it may still speak to you. And if you happen to be in Stockholm, look up New Life church and hear the rest of the story.

In exercise we have learned this: In order to get in better shape, to get more defined; to get stronger and prettier, we need to change our exercise routine often. You can do your 5K every day at a comfortable pace the rest of your life and never get out of shape. But it is by doing intervals, by changing the pace, the terrain, the length of the run, it is by pushing yourself until it hurts that you will notice changes. The same with strength training. The same with raising kids.

I think this is how it is with faith too.  We can keep doing the same faith routine every day for the rest of our lives, and we will make it into heaven. We will go to the Sunday morning services and then for lunch afterwards. Nice Christians. Safe Jesus.

But if you want to build some real faith muscles, then change the routine. (dot, dot, dot)

The reasons Kristin's hair is not braided here is because it is not raining.

Change the exercise routine perhaps

Treating my soul like fabric with lycra

It is 10.40 pm and the house is quiet. Some days I cherish silence more than other days. Today is one of those days. You know the feeling of being on the go since 6 am, and this is the first time since you woke up that you sit down long enough to actually hear your thoughts? Today is one of those days.

Steve said today, on Skype, that I need to find time to nourish my soul. He is away, and we have not seen each other for a while. I shared the long list of things I had to do with him, and he said: “Find time for your soul or you will crack in half.” And I said that if I should find time for my soul too, then I would have to skip sleep, because there is no extra time in my day. None. And, I need my sleep.

Among many other things I did today, I went shopping for jeans with my NomNom (that is what I call my middle daughter). As she put the jeans in the bag, the sales lady said: “And remember to not use fabric softener with this one when you wash it.” I felt like crying. “Lady,” I thought, “do you understand anything about my life? Do you honestly think that I am going to sort my laundry and take out jeans that have lycra in them and wash them separately? I don’t even have time to wash my children’s socks. If the laundry get done, it is a good day. To think that I will have time to sort out the clothes that do better without fabric softeners is the most unrealistic thinking I have heard today.”

Suggesting that I find time in the day to nourish my soul felt a little like being told to find a way to wash some clothes without fabric softeners. I am not a super human.

But, as I am sitting here in my quiet house, I realize that my soul is not like jeans with lycra in them. My soul has other qualities. One of them is resilience.

There may not have been that 25 minute chunk of time to read something reflective, and spiritual today. There was no time to meditate on God’s word in a quiet place. But here is where I see that my soul got its vitamins and its strength today:

With my 11-year old daughter on my lap, getting hugged before the school bus came and took her away.

In the car laughing together with NomNom as she shared the most outrageous stories I have ever heard.

At a coffee shop, sipping fresh lattes and sharing a piece of carrot cake with my beautiful daughter.

On a bridge, laughing hysterically as we were trying to take a photo of ourselves.

Oddny and Naomi

Walking on the street, in a hurry, but still feeling the warm spring wind in our hair.

Driving, rushing at times, while watching the beauty of mountains and the ocean from the window.

Getting a warm welcome from the most loving dog God ever created.

Having a crockpot cook a delicious dinner while I was gone.

Sharing a meal with my kids who are pretty groovy after all, and my stepmom who is the coolest stepmom in the world.

Seeing that the dishes got done and I did not need to raise my voice.

A bottle of Australian Shiraz.

This and more have nurtured my soul today as I have been rushing about. In my head there is one compartment that focuses on the things I did not get done today. And another compartment that remembers all the beauty I experienced today. As I finish the day, I think that I want to dwell on the place that focuses on the beauty.

A room full of heroes.

Since I last wrote a few things have happened:

The day I held my speech for Women’s day I was actually voted Woman of the year in my hometown, Levanger. That was a huge honor, and something I am still trying to understand fully. I don’t exactly feel like a Woman of the year.

Then I went to Burma and met my friends, the Rohingya again. Sadly, their situation is not getting any better. In many ways, it is getting worse. While there we heard rumors of new attacks, and as soon as I had left, the attacks did indeed resume. I can only try to imagine the fear and desperation.

With some of the beautiful Rohingya children. This photo was taken by Josh Rogers, a man I met in Sittwe who ended up buying tarps for some of the families without shelter.

With some of the beautiful Rohingya children. This photo was taken by Josh Rogers, a man I met in Sittwe who ended up buying tarps for some of the families without shelter.

I went from Burma to Thailand, and I am currently in Chiang Mai, enjoying day two of our annual staff retreat. It has been a time of great blessing for me. The biggest blessing being able to talk face to face with so many of our staff, and realizing that the people I work with are some of the most amazing people in the world? Why? Not because they are so beautiful, strong, smart and fit, although some are that too. No, they are amazing because they stick with it. They work hard with little resources, such as money. They work in difficult conditions,  for many of them this is a foreign country. They work against the tide for the most times. Many of them work alone. Many more work without any salary at all. Many consider going to Starbucks a luxury that they can’t really afford.

SOme of our wonderful staff dancing at last year's staff retreat.

Some of our wonderful staff dancing at last year’s staff retreat.

I look at them and I am so thankful that God has put them in my life. Some of them can be annoying at times, but so can I. Some of them blow it at times, but so do I. Some of them are not qualified for the job they are doing, but neither am I. The main thing I like about them is their commitment and their courage. They are my heroes.

Happy Woman’s Day

birdToday is the international women’s day. A big day for some, but for most of the world’s women, it is just a day like all others.

I have been preparing my speech for tonight. I am looking forward to meeting so many strong and engaging women. I will post the whole speech here later, but for now, I just thought I would post a small paragraph of what I want to talk about:

I want to jump out of this nest. I want to learn to fly. Perhaps I will fall and hit my head. Perhaps people will look at me and think I am weird. Perhaps I will never again be able to return to this nest. But how will I learn to fly if I never jump?

 

Refreshin’ in London

coffeecupAn empty coffee cup in a full coffee shop. Sunday morning in London, and Steve and I are trying to live the urban life. We have squeezed into the coffee shop where all the Londoners are having their breakfast, sheltered from the cold and humid day outside. I find it fascinating that we can all be sitting here, almost shoulder to shoulder, in a small room, drinking our coffee and minding our own business while we know nothing about each other. What would happen if we got locked in here for a few days and we had to start talking to each other? What would we find out about one another?

The barista has already gotten Steve’s attention. He is enthusiastic about his task, and makes his coffee with the same vigor the matador uses to manipulate the bull in the bullfight. Elegantly and with a hint of masculine power he knocks the coffee filter on to a steel bowl, making a noise that penetrates the constant buzz of conversation in the room—boom, boom, boom, boom.  The long table in the middle reminds me of Medieval times—a long table filled with people talking and laughing. Only difference is that the beer has been exchanged with cappuccinos and lattes. The attires worn are following the 21st century trends, not the 12th.

It is easy to block the real world out of my life, and only focus on small issues that my head is capable of, like: Should I get another cup of coffee.

Steve & Odd

Here we are trying to be urban in the cold London winter.

Soon I will be back in my home, with my kids, my dog, the dust bunnies in the corners, the empty pantry and the missing school books. Soon I will be back to my inbox, my unfinished work and a messy desk. I am looking forward to it. Going back to what the people I know and who know me, going back to a place that is safe, although it is messy. Going back to a job that gives purpose and meaning.

They sure have many good beer in London. I did not need any Fish & Chips.

They sure have many good beers in London. I did not need any Fish & Chips.

A weekend away is a fun distraction. We watched a great show, and enjoyed several of the local pubs. We got to ride on the London buses, and had great talks with our good friends and soon-to-be colleagues, Matt and Amy Smith.

Many hours of talks about how to change the world through relief, development and advocacy. What else would the world need?

Many hours of talks about how to change the world through relief, development and advocacy. What else would the world need?

We got to admire Matt's new iPhone, a true wonder.

We got to admire Matt’s new iPhone, a true wonder.

I am going back to my home in the country, without the once-every-90-seconds public transport, without the coffee shops on every corner, or the sidewalks with people, used gum, pigeon poop and cigarette butts. It will be a little sad, but mostly good.

Stay uncomfortable

balancing actIt’s been almost a month since I wrote anything on my blog. This must be a new record, and I have been breaking all the blog rules.(The ones that say you need to write consistently, preferably every day.) But while not blogging I have kept myself busy with other things, such as reading books and knitting. 

I have entered the new year with a commitment to not over-commit myself to anything. Part of the reason for this is that I know from past experiences that new-year resolutions never work, the other reason is my eternal need to go against the current. When everybody else is doing something, I want to do the opposite. So this year I am going to become a worse person. Haha. 

At the same time as I committed to a year of not being so nice, I have also felt challenged from all over the place. It is like the gods are ganging up on me. Only thing is, it may be God trying to speak. It is about challenges. It is about moving out of my comfort zone. It is about stretching myself to the max. It is about not getting stagnant. It’s like everywhere I turn people are talking about this. I turn on the radio and it is a documentary about some explorer talking about how he is constantly asking himself how he can learn more, stretch himself further, challenge himself to the max. I watch a movie and it as about taking great risks. I read a book and it is about going against the current, making untraditional choices. I meet people and they are people who are alive with excitement over life and the world. 

climbing and Oddny

This is me up there, doing what I don’t like. Climbing high.

So I walked in the dark with my dog and thought: What is my new challenge this year? A marathon? I mountain to climb? A classic to read? A pole to cross? 

I thought and thought and thought. Then suddenly I remembered: I am going to Burma very soon. I am going to an area that very few have ever traveled to. I am going to an area where a human disaster is happening right now, and I will have to figure out how to help these people. I am going to an area with people who are destitute and desperate. I am going to an area I know nothing about. I guess that will be challenging.

So I got my answer and I will let you know how it was to be outside my comfort zone when I get a chance. And then as the year progresses I am sure I will find new challenges to keep me alive, moving and close to the God who seems to say: Never get too comfortable. Comfort creates complacency. Complacency creates laziness. Laziness creates dullness. Dullness creates stupidity. And it goes on and on and on. So I guess my motto for 2013 could be something like this: Don’t get stupid. Stay uncomfortable.  

Winners never quit

It was a big event. Kristin had planned what to wear for days. It actually resulted in two trips to the store because the first dress was not perfect. It was also a day when Kristin appreciated having older sisters who helped her with her hair and makeup. Of course, we are talking about the Christmas ball. Her dance school arranged a ball, it was Kristin’s first ever. 

Some of the privileges with older sisters.

Some of the privileges with older sisters.

The Waltz was perfect.

First the parade

First the parade

And so were the other dances. She allowed Daddy one dance with her. The rest was dedicated to the boys who were all stylish in their shirts and ties. To be almost 11!

K and Isak

When they finished she got a card from her dance teacher and her husband. They had written words of wisdom to each child. I really appreciated the effort they had made giving each child a word that they hoped would mean something to them. The word Kristin got could not have been better:

A winner never quits. Those who quit will never win. 

Now, this is something Kristin knows. This is why she says things like: Mom, I will go to bed in just a sec. Let me just do my five pull-ups first. But it was something I felt was a word for me and for the  world around me as well. 

I don’t know what challenges we all are faced with. Mine are different daily. Some are huge, like saving the Rohingya people from getting killed or starved to death. Others are not so big, in a world perspective, but big enough for me: How am I going to find the time to do all the stuff I need to do the next two weeks? Then there are personal challenges like making my time for my 10k just a little faster or getting up a little earlier so I can have a devotion. 

The thing I was reminded yesterday was that whatever the challenges are, if I quit, I will never experience the joy of overcoming, the joy of victory, however small that victory may be. 

My dance moves are not as smooth as Kristin's, but quitting for that reason? No way!

My dance moves are not as smooth as Kristin’s, but quitting for that reason? No way!

So, as you continue on your day, remind yourself of this too: Winners don’t quit. Quitters don’t win. I want to be a winner. In the eyes of Jesus. In my own eyes. In the eyes of my children, my family and my close friends. And winning means overcoming obstacles. Different ones every day. Different ones for each one of us. 

Give me your tired, your poor

Two refugee girls our family met in Eh Htu Hta refugee camp

A lot of people have commented on my latest blog post about spraying water on Jesus. Many have responded with anger, disbelief and disgust. Also, many have responded by saying that it has made them think about how they themselves treat the poor. Who knows, perhaps one of the members of the church I wrote about will also read the blog one day and decide to demand change.

So I wanted to continue by quoting the poem that is inscribed in the Statue of Liberty. I had never known there was a poem before, and when I heard it, I was moved:
Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me:
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

It reminds me of Jesus and his offer to receive the ones who are weary and heavy burdened. 

So my first impulse is to talk about why is it that we don’t do a better job as Christians. Why are we not better examples of Jesus and of the Statue of Liberty? 

Last night, Elise, who is 16, was writing an essay called: Where are all the heroes. I helped her with the content. Her first draft was good, but I told her: You seem to focus mostly on the lack of heroes in the world today. I think can write about that, but how about changing the focus some, and write about all the people that actually are true heroes. Because there are many.

So she spent the rest of the night thinking about people she consider heroes. In the end I was not allowed to read it. Perhaps she knew I would make her rewrite some of it, and she would miss out on valuable time chatting to her friends on Facebook.

But here is my point: There are so many people in the world who are true heroes, all the way from the unknown heroes who do things to help others, and who never get one ounce of recognition for it, to the ones whose bravery, sacrifice and commitment result in international recognition and admiration, such as Nelson Mandela, Aung San Suu Kyi and Mother Teresa. 

I tend to favor the heroes who are working tirelessly for justice and righteousness, with no concerns with how much they will get back in return for it. I know many such people. In them I see Jesus every day. In them I see a love and a commitment that I would like to reproduce myself. So many of them are my biggest heroes. They have said, like the Statue of Liberty seems to say: Give me your tired, your poor, the huddled masses, the wretched refuse, the homeless and the tempest-tossed. 

Three such people are my friends, Shaune, Frank and Carolyn. They live in Colorado and are working with the refugees that have moved from war and conflict in Burma and other places, to Denver Colorado. Their ministry is called Project Worthmore, and you can read about it here. The work they do for some of these refugees is some of the most Christ-like work I have ever seen done. Read Shaune’s reflections here. Read it for yourself, and when you have read, give! 

Let’s all strive to become more like Jesus today, like Shaune, Frank, Carolyn and so many others have done. I don’t want to be spraying water on Jesus. I want to become Jesus to the world around me.

On one of Project Worthmore’s blogs, I found this quote by Emily Dickinson: 

If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.

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