I have said this before, but since it is so true, I will repeat it: The freedom of choice is often a burden. Because when we get to choose, we also run the risk of choosing wrong. And since we have made the choice, then the responsibility of the outcome is ours too. I like it when things go wrong and I can blame others. Don’t you? It’s easy to blame others, my husband, my kids, my country, my neighbors, my dog…
Today I feel like I have been reminded of this from a lot of angels. First I had my quiet time and the book I am reading talked about our desires. It said that if we get rid of all the fluff, then our desires and God’s are the same. Because it is God who has put the desires in our hearts to begin with. Yeah, I know this one is hard to swallow, but just think about it for a moment. And remember, you must get rid of the fluff. The lady in the book also talked about making choices and that nobody ever does anything one has not chosen to do. She said that sometimes the choice may be between the lesser of two evils. And that it is true even in a situation where there appears to be no choice. That is hard to accept. Like, it’s my own fault that I get fat when I drink too much beer? Or more seriously: Maybe I am lonely because of my own choices, or broke, or whatever.
So, in a way, I can say that I am what I have chosen to become. My life is a string of decisions.
Then my friend, Ingun, called to check on me (which she does from time to time because she is such a good person) and we talked about the future. And we both agreed that there are times when it would be easier to be told what to do than to actually be given the freedom to choose. (We of course probably didn’t really mean that, we just said it. Because if our freedom to choose was taken away, we would hate life. It would be like being forced to peel potatoes outside with only cold water and it was rainy and windy and cold like it is now.)
A little later I got an email from another good friend, Lynn, who said this: Someone asked me about the wrong decisions I had made in life and I answered that because I truly like who I am and where I am in life, can there really be wrong decisions as life is what shapes us to be the people we are. Without all the choices I made…..right or wrong….I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am
I thought: How true that is, and how freeing. If we truly seek to do right, follow our hearts and try to do unto others what we would want them to do to us, then, really, it is hard to go totally wrong. And even if we do go totally wrong and end up flat on our noses with scratches here and there, that is OK too. Because, like Lynn said, that is what is going to turn us into the people we are meant to be.
I made some right choices today. I chose to let the house stay a little messy and spent time with the girls instead. I chose to go for a run although it was dark and cold. I chose to chat with Elise instead of thinking of a budget (Wow, hard choice!). I also chose to eat a cinnamon roll tonight when I really should have eaten an apple. Now I am choosing to end this long blog entry.