It may very well be that you have not even noticed that an unusually high number of days have passed without as much as a peep from me. This is what happened:
We moved to a new house.
Than in itself is enough stress to make even the most avid blogger think about other stuff.
But the other issue is this: The house has no internet. Easy to fix, thought we. We just call the company and they show up the next day with Internet. Not so. We called the company and they said: How do we even know that you live where you say you live?
Well, won’t it be obvious when you get here, we asked. No, they would not even consider getting into their car and wasting expensive gas to drive our house if we did not first tell the IRS that we had moved, or the People’s register as they say here. The People’s register knows everything about you.
So I went to the People’s Register and said: I am here to tell you we have moved. Can you put that fact into your database?
No, no, no, said the lady. It’s not that easy. First you fill in this form.
Easy, I thought and got my pen out. But the form was more complicated than just the simple form we fill out to get our passports here in Norway, for example. This form needed our kids social security numbers (which I have not memorized), our house code and lots of other specifics about the house. It needed to know who we were employed by and also needed a copy of our passports.
All that just to tell the People’s Register that we had moved to a house 10 kilometers away! And all that before the Internet company will even consider giving us as much as a minute of Internet.
So today we spent the morning filling out the elaborate form. But they cannot put it in their database here in town. No, it has to be sent to the central people’s register.
So it may be a while before we get Internet.
Now, do you want to here about getting trash cans? Not? I will tell you anyway.
So I call the trash company and say: We have moved. Can we have new trash cans or do we get new ones.
Oh, wait a minute, said the lady. You can definitely not take the old trash cans away from the house. The house and the trash cans are one unit and we think of it as one unit, not as trash cans and a house.
So can we get new ones then?
Yes, for sure. But we have the right to take 14 days before we deliver them.
14 days! That is a long time to wait to get trash cans.
Well, you could have called us earlier. This is our rule. 14 days. How far away is your old house?
Well, can you take your garbage over there for the time being.
It’s a little far to go to throw our trash, don’t you think?
Like I said, you could have told us earlier.
Well, we did not know when we would be moving so it was a bit hard to tell you earlier.
It’s your problem then.
Anyway, now that we have moved I assume that there is a process to cancel our garbage fees of 300 dollars every six months. What do I do?
Well, you cannot just do that. You still have to pay your garbage fees for six more months.
I do?! But why? If I don’t live there and I don’t throw any trash in my trash cans why in the world do I have to pay. Your people don’t have to pick up anything.
That is just our rule and we treat all people equal. Everybody will get the same treatment, even if they are old and move to an old folks home. They have to pay until the house has been empty for six months. Then you may send an application asking us if you can please stop paying the garbage fees.
But I don’t understand. Why do I have to pay? You have no expenses with me whatsoever. Can you explain?
I can only say that we treat all people equal and this is our law.
OK, then. That is some very expensive garbage, and a very long time to wait for a trash can.
Well, you can always hope they will come before the 14 days have passed. Good bye and have a nice day.
You want to hear about the plumbers? Yes? I don’t think I want to write about them. It is too stressful.
But now you know why there won’t be many blogs coming from me for a while. And our house? You will find it by following the smell of rotting garbage.